英语小笑话-Fathers John Hancock父亲的亲笔签名

　·      Father''s John HancockTeacher: Tom, you haven''t shown your parents the examination papers, have you?Tom: Yes, I have, sir.Teacher: But I can''t find your father''s John Hancock on the papers at all.Tom: Here, sir. (showing his whipped arms to the teacher.)父亲的亲笔签名老师：汤姆，你没把你的考卷给你的父母看，是吗?汤姆：不，老师，我给看了。老师：可是我在上面根本没找着你父亲的亲笔签名啊。汤姆：在这里老师。（汤姆向老师露出手臂上的鞭伤）……

英语小笑话-The Same Mother同一个妈妈

　·      The Same Mother Billy and his brother Davy were in the same class. The teacher assigned them to write a composition "My Mother". Davy wrote one and Billy just copied it. On the next day the teacher asked Billy, "How is it that your composition is exactly the same with Davy''s?" "we have the same mother, don''t we?" replied Billy.同一个妈妈比利和他的哥哥大卫在同一个班里上学，一天老师布置他们写一篇作文，题目是“我的妈妈”。大卫写好后比利拿去抄了一遍。第二天老师问比利：“为什么你的作文……

英语小笑话-An Abstract Drawing一幅抽象画

　·      An Abstract Drawing One day in a drawing class, the teacher told the class to draw an abstract drawing. After a while, a small boy turned his drawing in. The teacher looked at it but saw nothing, only a piece of white paper. "What did you draw?" said the teacher. "A cow eats grass," the boy answered. "Where is the grass?" "The cow has eaten it up." replied the boy. "Well, but where is the cow?&q……

英语小笑话-[英文幽默] what is puberty(青春期)

　·      　　One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, "Mommy, what''s puberty?" My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary, after which they could talk about it. A few minutes later, Peggy returned. Her mother asked what the dictionary had said. "Puberty means," announced Peggy, "the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children."……

英语小笑话-经典英文幽默集锦

　·      　　 Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa. 　　 钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡. 　　 　　 One should love animals. They are so tasty. 　　 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃. 　　 　　 Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught. 　　 要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道. 　　 　　 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every 　　unsuccessful man, there are two. 　　 每个成功男人的背后都有一个女人，每个不成功男人的背后都有两个女人。 　　 　　 Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 　　 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸……

英语小笑话-How do you know that?

　·      　　Bob: My car doesn''t have a speedometer.　　Rob: Then how do you know how fast you''re going?　　Bob: Well, when I''m driving at 15 miles an hour, the fenders rattle; at 25 miles an hour, the windows rattle; and at 30, the motor starts knocking-and that''s as fast as it''ll go.……

英语小笑话-Loss of Voice

　·      　　One guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back? "　　The doctor replies, "Try to come home at 3 in the morning."……

英语小笑话-Not a dancer

　·      　　A lady went to a pet shop to buy a parakeet. She asked the clerk for a bird that could sing. The man sold her a parakeet, and she took it home. There, she examined the bird and found out it had a broken leg. She returned to the store with the bird and told the clerk that the bird had a broken leg. "Lady," he answered, "when you brought the bird, you asked for a singer, not a dancer."……

英语小笑话-失去声音Loss of Voice

　·      　　One guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back? "　　The doctor replies, "Try to come home at 3 in the morning."……

英语小笑话-四减四等于几？

　·      　　4-4=?　　One day, the teacher inquired Peter: "How much is four minus four?" Peter was tongue-tied. 　　The teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?"　　"The hole." replied Peter.　　四减四等于几？　　一天，老师问彼得：“4减4等于几？”彼得张口结舌答不上来。　　老师生气地说：“真苯！比如我给你衣袋里装进4个硬币，可你衣袋上有个窟窿，硬币全从这里漏掉了，那么，你衣袋里还剩下什么？”　　“还剩下个窟窿。”彼得答道。……

英语小笑话-Three Reasons 三条理由

　·       　　Three Reasons　　Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round. Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so!　　三条理由　　老师：斯通，说出三条理由来证实地球是圆的。　　斯通：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，你也是这么说的！……

英语小笑话-前台小姐的8级英语(爆笑)

　·       昨天来了个外国人，进到办公室，前台小姐左看右看，大家都在打游戏，只有自己比较清闲，就面带微笑的：“Hello？” 　　外国人：“Hi。”　　前台小姐：“You have what thing？”(你有什么事？)　　外国人：“Can you speak English？”(你会讲英语吗)前台小姐：“If I not speak English，　I am speaking what？”(如果我不会说，那我现在说的什么)　　外国人：“Can anybody else speak English？　”(还有谁能讲英语吗)　　前台小姐：“You yourself look。 all people are playing，no people have time，　you can wait，　you wait，　you not wait，　you go。”(你自己看看，所有人都在玩呢，都没空，你愿意等就等，不愿意就走你)　　外国人：“Good heavens。 anybody here can speak Englis……